Only My Burden To Bear
by windscryer
Summary: Sometimes the hardest burden to bear is not being able to help someone else bear theirs.


This is a GUS POV companion piece to "My Side of the Story". It's not much happier, though.

Psych is still not mine, neither is the song from which the title comes (same as the the first story). *cries for the injustice of it all*

* * *

Gus doesn't know what is in that room. He is never allowed inside and that's probably a good thing.

o.o

The pictures aren't hung on the murder board like usual either, only the smiling school photo of a young girl, some candids of the same girl, and several family shots. The scene is never discussed in detail while he is present, and from the looks Lassiter tosses Shawn, it wasn't his idea—even if he agrees with it completely.

Gus has thought about asking, but every time he opens his mouth to do so he sees the look on Shawn's face when he walked out of the apartment, thinks of the way he didn't speak for almost an hour—and the fact that he asked to be dropped off at his dad's place when they left.

Gus is pretty damn sure he doesn't _want_ to know what is behind that door.

o.o

Unfortunately, Shawn isn't talking a lot about anything else regarding the case either and so Gus feels pretty useless.

Shawn comes up with a name three days after he went to the apartment and saw... whatever he saw. It's delivered without fanfare, just a weary resignation, and when he ends the call his head falls back down onto his folded arms.

Gus politely ignores the shake of his shoulders and the muffled sniffles and when Shawn surfaces some time later Gus also shows no sign of recognition for the puffy, bloodshot eyes. Shawn mumbles something about dinner and Jules and hurries out the door.

That's when Gus starts cursing Lassiter and Juliet and Karen for letting him anywhere NEAR that room. Shawn may not have known what he was getting into.

They damn well did.

o.o

Gus doesn't see him again until Saturday when he shows up at Gus' apartment to drag him out of bed to go to a funeral. He insists on attending—and having Gus at his side—though he doesn't join the group of mourners, watching from afar instead.

That doesn't stop little Katie's big sister from finding him and thanking him for his help in catching her killer. Shawn pales at the words and looks like he's going to be sick, refusing any and all credit, pushing it off on Lassiter and Juliet.

Even if not for all the other stuff, that alone tells Gus how this whole case has affected his best friend. Gus is, by turns, angry at Shawn for taking the case—for ever starting this damn job even—and broken-hearted at the loss of innocence in his childlike associate and partner—in crime and crime-solving.

o.o

Shawn won't even accept the check when Karen calls the next day to say it's waiting for them at the station. He won't let Gus go get it either, just snaps that this case was pro bono and that is the _end_ of the discussion. He storms out and leaves on his bike with a roar of the engine.

o.o

When Karen calls back to ask why it's still there the next day, Gus tries to explain. He doesn't think he does very well, but Karen seems to understand and suggests that it could be donated to a local charity for finding missing kids. Gus agrees to that immediately with relief and is told that she will see to it personally.

She then tells him that if Shawn needs someone to talk to, the department has resources he can take advantage of. She'll make arrangements and not to worry about the cost.

Gus thanks her and takes down the name and number of the department shrink, but he doesn't think Shawn will use the information. Still, crazier things have happened since they started this agency and it never hurts to be optimistic, right?

o.o

Gus doesn't see Shawn again until his week of enforced vacation is up. He checks in with Juliet and she sounds worn down, but she tells Gus that Shawn's doing okay and that he will make it through this.

Gus really hopes she's right.

o.o

When he does return, walking through the door of the office at nearly noon, he still looks like hell warmed over and that haunted look in his eyes seems to have settled in for the duration, but he smiles slightly when Gus asks him how he feels and says that he's getting there.

The honesty is unexpected and uncharacteristic, but it's better than the lie neither would have believed and, for the first time in what feels like forever, Gus thinks that maybe everything will be okay.

* * *

Review, plz&thx.


End file.
